My dear sister, you had the most exquisite face. Your skin was like rose petals so soft and sweetly freckled. Your square jaw I wish I could cup it now in my hands. I wish we hadn't felt so weird touching. I regret now as I think of you how we could have held each other more. I remember when I was living in Liverpool you visited. I wanted to show you a field full of sunflowers all just standing at attention. We took photos of ourselves in front of them. Then we went for a walk and saw horses and a peacock. We found a clearing amongst some trees and I suggested we go and sit there and that you put your head in my lap. I stroked your hair and you tried to feel OK about it. Your gorgeous long, thick, dark hair which I stroked. Were you wearing white? You are now I think. Oh Pam, I remember we had a nice day in the sunshine and we went into a little church.
This was taken as autumn was setting in last year. That tree covers the entire garden with it's leaves. Today I planted some sunflowers seeds. I got a spade and turned the soil over and spread the little seeds and covered them with mulch to be precise. I hope they grow, those little seeds. I enjoyed it. I'm no gardener but last year a friend stayed here because I had to go back to England unexpectedly for Pam's memorial. 2008 then became the worst year of my life. He was a gardener and he gave me some lovely suggestions. He also told me that one half of a little tree died and he said it was Pam. I love you Pam and I am going to make my garden grow.
My dear sister, you had the most exquisite face. Your skin was like rose petals so soft and sweetly freckled. Your square jaw I wish I could cup it now in my hands. I wish we hadn't felt so weird touching. I regret now as I think of you how we could have held each other more. I remember when I was living in Liverpool you visited. I wanted to show you a field full of sunflowers all just standing at attention. We took photos of ourselves in front of them. Then we went for a walk and saw horses and a peacock. We found a clearing amongst some trees and I suggested we go and sit there and that you put your head in my lap. I stroked your hair and you tried to feel OK about it. Your gorgeous long, thick, dark hair which I stroked. Were you wearing white? You are now I think. Oh Pam, I remember we had a nice day in the sunshine and we went into a little church.
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