Wednesday, March 18, 2009


I have been following the news on Natasha Richardson avidly since I first heard about it yesterday. I worked with her sister Joely at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in 1986. Joely is the same age as my sister Pam would have been 44. We have now lost our sisters to death within a year of each other. Joely is now in the same boat. Life is so weird to me now. You carry on but every second of your experience seems odd. Now Vanessa Redgrave, who is the same age as my mother, has to grieve and be in so much pain. It hurts and hurts and leaves a gaping hole. Nothing will ever be the same again. I will always have my head turned by tragic accidents now until the day I die. I wonder now regularly how I will die and when.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Focus of this Blog

Is to write. It seems to be a way of dealing with my grief to share stories about my family. However now that my play is going to Edinburgh I will be focusing big time on that. Anyway FYI this blog is about pouring the extreme loss of my beautiful and extraordinary sister Pam into something. It makes me feel a little better. Pam would like it.  I think this sketch is by John Williams Waterhouse.  I found it amongst Ron's stuff.  It looks so like Pam.  It's uncannily like her.  The more I stare at it the more it strikes at my heart, she seems so sad.  She often was so sad.  I wish this hadn't happened. I wish with all my heart that she was not gone.