Journal Entry July 28 2011

"All I want to do is lie quietly with my eyes closed and let the tears drip from my eyes. Try to come to terms with the death of my sister. The idea of her life slipping away rips me apart and tears me to pieces. Her hair, her beautiful hair gone. That hair that was her crowning glory that clogged up plug holes wiry, wiry hair. Now we won't see her aging like Angie and me. I'm going to watch her more from now on on videos, I'm going to look at her ashes like Angie who has held them in her hand. I'm going to look at it like those buddhist monks who meditate in burial grounds and face it."

I haven't looked at her ashes yet and I haven't watched her on videos hardly..