Autumn

So True

I pray thee, cease thy counsel,

Which falls into mine ears as profitless

As water in a sieve: give not me counsel;

Nor let no comforter delight mine ear

But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.

Bring me a father that so loved his child,

Whose joy of her is overwhelm'd like mine,

And bid him speak of patience;

Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine

And let it answer every strain for strain,

As thus for thus and such a grief for such,

In every lineament, branch, shape, and form:

If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,

Bid sorrow wag, cry 'hem!' when he should groan,

Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk

With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me,

And I of him will gather patience.

But there is no such man: for, brother, men

Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief

Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it,

Their counsel turns to passion, which before

Would give preceptial medicine to rage,

Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,

Charm ache with air and agony with words:

No, no; 'tis all men's office to speak patience

To those that wring under the load of sorrow,

But no man's virtue nor sufficiency

To be so moral when he shall endure

The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:

My griefs cry louder than advertisement.

The Door Marked Summer

Photos care of Lorna McLauchlan, Pam's schoolfriend.

This is an excerpt from The Door Marked Summer by Michael Bentine a member of The Goon Show speaking about his son who was killed in a plane crash.

By noon, the airfield at Lashham admitted that one of their aircraft was missing. As I stood in the garden of our home, I prayed to the forces of light to guide me and - suddenly, my door marked summer swung open. There beside me was Gus. I felt his touch on my shoulder and heard his anxious voice in my ear: "Daddy! I'm terribly sorry - so sorry!" Then the words came clearly: "It wasn't Andy's fault! The bloody machine went wrong in the air."

Birthday Party

I sang two songs at my party on Saturday night, The Very Thought of You and Autumn Leaves a song Pam used to sing. I broke down at the end of it. I might have known. Then I sat down and glanced to the side of me where Ron's two-year-old granddaughter was sitting on her mum's lap. On her t-shirt were two words..Big Sister.

50 today.

Can't believe I'm 50 for one thing...and that Pam isn't here with me for another... life is weird.

Monsters from the Id

Pam on a trip to Redcar in a red coat. 

                                     

 Dad's parents, mum and Pam.

Pam in Taos

Pam visited me about five times here in New Mexico. I think these photos were her first visit. Here I took her to Taos Pueblo. This is her just outside the Pueblo calling the horses..

Mum and Dad came for the wedding this June and I took them to Taos. I got them to stand in all the places that I took photos of Pam...

And always some silly ones.. Pam then wearing a scarf that she knitted herself...

And me this year..

So now let me share with you Pam's trip out here at the end of 2003. We bought wool in Taos and she knitted a lovely scarf for me. She got her plane times mixed up so ended up staying an extra few days. We watched the film 28 Days Later and giggled like kids chasing each other round the room like the infected flesh eaters. Pam was particularly good at it and had me quite convinced a time or two! I don't think I've laughed so much since.. And of course she got her dog fix..

God these photos make me cry... sorry it's been so long getting this together.. You can probably imagine why..